Passion Reflection (Assignment)

 

During the readings for this week I was honestly surprised to what depth the Sernee Jones’ retelling of the Passion reached me.  As a Christian for over thirty years, if we only count the thirty plus Good Friday through Easter season that I have experience - not taking into consideration personal devotion, I thought I understood what the Passion conveyed.  Possibly on “a” level I do however with Jones’ insight and access to trauma and grace she has cracked a new understanding for me together with were we find ourselves in history.  It is amazing how exposure deepens understanding.  I don’t believe I was processing the fullness of the story.  Definitely harvesting the parts about myself.  Viewing the story but thinking about myself. Trying to assure my salvation. Like a person who robs a hit and run victim as they lay helpless in the street.  Serene Jones readings have helped me to name that selfishness.  Captured an awareness of it and helped me to see it in the traditions of faith in the way the Passion is taught.  I still don’t believe I got a handle on it.  Actually, it feels more elusive now that I have added a layer to it, and I feel compelled to search through it over and over again.  There is an anxiousness I feel now and a gasp in my chest.  What else have I missed?

I am forever grateful for Jones’ articulation of what happens to one’s imagination as it struggles to move through the experience of traumatic violence.  The inability to digest or file away the events which causes the “loop”.  The necessity of having to tell the story and be heard and the hearers doing the tricky, patient and discernment heavy work of help to pave a new road through the brain.   

Continuing with my approach and theme of “Start From The End” what this week of reading has given me is look closer and feel deeper.  It would be impossible and possibly pointless to be able to engage this sustained work from intellect alone.  The challenge for me would be allowing myself to be affected to be effective.  This is heart and spirit work and in the cases of person and community the need to heard is essential and the processes are involved.  To be able to deliver a message or ministry of starting from the end requires humility, endurance and empathy.  To choose not only to be one who can diagnose but to be one who is compassionate about the healing process.